BLOG: A Quick Way to Feel More Confident

There are probably loads of things you would like to try doing, from creative self-expression to learning another language to taking up a new sport, and for all you know you might be brilliant at it! Trouble is you don’t feel confident enough to even make a start, much less achieve the competence you are capable of. And that’s a terrible waste.

If you are experiencing a lack of confidence – either about a specific situation like a presentation at work, or more as a more general, habitual way of being – it can be hard to imagine what you could do to change that. It becomes a catch-22: you think you can’t do things because you’re not confident and you’re not confident because you think you can’t do things. Round and round it goes.

What’s gone wrong?

It’s all too easy nowadays to fall into the trap of thinking that everyone else is better than we are. Smarter, prettier, thinner, more talented, luckier, richer, and so on. Media messages everywhere reinforce the nonsense that only certain types of people are valid as human beings. And if you are not like the impossibly perfect people you constantly see on TV, Facebook, magazines, and newspapers – and let’s face it, most of us are not! – you end up feeling bad about yourself for fake ‘reasons’ that have no basis in reality.

A quick way to deal with a lack of confidence based on unreal expectations is to

• Remind yourself that what you see in the media is not reality
• In the real world, people are different
• We all have different strengths and qualities, and a combination of traits that is unique to us
• Get your head around the idea of celebrating these differences rather than denying them
• In this more inclusive atmosphere, give yourself permission to shine
• Then have a go at something you always wanted to try!
• And no matter how it turns out, remind yourself that it’s a start
• Take it one baby step at a time - you can’t run before you’ve learned to walk

It might also help to remember that saying ‘fake it till you make it’ – sometimes pretending to be able to do something helps us to realize that we actually can do it!!

Now what will be your first step toward doing that thing you’ve always wanted to . . . ?